Nine and a Half Hours

That’s how long we were there.  If this’d have been a year ago, or any other time but the present, I would have been whinging, passive aggressively.  I’d have been allowing my breathing to stagger, reaching out for the next bit of mental stimulus that infected my mind into thinking I was a victim.

I didn’t mind being there, today.  The time didn’t go fast.  It was almost ten hours in the accident and emergency department.

I thought, so what if my testicles retract?  So what if I have a tear of emotion in my eye?  So what if my breathing becomes shallow?  I’m just going to enjoy being in public.

My mind hit peak schizo’.  Was MI5 sending people in to test me?  Were Len and I talking telepathically with interdimensional consciousnesses?  It sure seemed that way, for a while.  I thought fuck it.  I’m going to enjoy this.  It’s like a big winding story, a rabbit hole I need only desire to be in to enjoy.

The routine worked pretty well.  I walked the corridors and went outside to smoke.  Cig’.  Walk.  Cig’.  Walk.  That was the routine.  Of course, there’s no enjoyment in knowing that Len might have gallstones.  We’re going back tomorrow.  It was enjoyable, in a very trial by fire way.

I realised there was a dominance hierarchy, that each person’s coloured shirt indicated their place.  I couldn’t see a time where someone would be able to climb, either.  You were either a trained doctor, a trained nurse, or a trained cleaner.  It all seemed pretty well set-in.

I did realise I want to marry a pretty young doctor.  I did realise that only winning the lottery and becoming a champion bodybuilder would get me so much as a few feet close to that goal.  We can all dream.  I did realise that I’m less afraid of enduring physical harm.  Yet again, I did realise that I love Len.  She’s an odd, beautiful little cute urchin.


Of course, now I’m back drinking a beer and chain-smoking.  I’m letting the cool, creamy liquid slide down my throat, and I’m relaxing.  The novelty was fun, tonight.  Tomorrow will be more focused.

We’ll get Len in for a scan.  We’ll find out what treatment she needs.  We’ll get out.  Today was a good day.  You know, except for the fact that Len was in agonising pain.  She’ll battle through, though.  She always does.